Starting over take 2

I'm not very good at this weight lose thing, I apparently have tried it a few times with little success. I know I can do it though, out of the five tries I've done well twice. Hopefully I can do it this time, no I will do it this time, all those clothes I bought last summer need to be worn again! I have two pairs of jeans I can wear without feeling squished and squeezed so I have to do this. 130 would be my ideal goal, but I would be happy with a fit 135. I need to stop eating out so much. I have not enjoyed cooking lately and I have been eating way more than I should, so those are the two things I am going to work on this week, cooking at home and not eating so much!

Starting Over

It's been a while since I have been motivated to exercise, eat healthy or step on the scale but I know I've started down a road of bad habits that has slowly taken all my hard work last year and thrown it out the window. I just booked a session for family pictures so Robert and I have decided to get back on track, exercise, eat better, and be healthy again. So I'm starting over. My weight as of this morning is 142 and my measurements are as follow: arms - 11.5, chest - 33.5, waist - 30.5, hips - 40, thigh - 23.5.

Catching Up

It's been a while - obviously - since I last posted. I won the BL challenge! I'm so excited about that. I have done a couple challenges but this is the first one I finally won, I got so close one time and got 2nd but that doesn't feel as good as first. I am surprised I won, I didn't think I could do it. It's not easy losing weight, it gets really hard at times, frustrating, overwhelming but I look back and can hardly believe i've lost over 20 lbs. I feel a bit proud. I've done a fair bit of shopping, which I love. It feels good to fit into clothes and even get some size smalls! I haven't done that in a long time! My official last weight was 134.8. I can't even remember when I weighed that last, it's been a while, probably college. I feel better, i have more energy, i've been sleeping better. I still want to lose a bit more, I still feel like I have a lot of fat to get off but I'm kind of enjoying where I'm at for a bit and not obsessing over the last few pounds. Here are the before and afters together.

this is the final day, 134.8

this is the beginning at 158 and middle about 145

Progress

Sometimes when you've been losing weight for a while, slowly, steadily, it's really hard to see the progress. I look in the mirror and I really don't see that much of a difference, i still see fat where i don't want it and it is discouraging. Today I took some pictures in the jeans I tried on for my before pictures for the contest, I'm down 15 lbs. I couldn't even come close to buttoning these jeans before the contest and they barely fit over my huge booty but today when I tried them on they buttoned. There a bit tight, there's a lot more muffin top than I would like and I still want to lose another 10 lbs but I see the difference, I see progress and that feels really good.

Shame On Me

I totally fell off the wagon this past weekend. I had such a great week, I was working hard, worked out 5 times that week and not just 20 minutes, 45 minutes each time!! I had only lost 2 lbs but was happy with that. Then came the weekend, oh boy was it bad. I've never really been much for self control, it's something I am still in the process of overcoming and definitely is one of my greatest weaknesses. If the food is not in my house I can easily resist it and will not go out of my way for it but put temptation in front of me and I'm all over it. As I was shoving down the cold slice of pizza that Clara didn't want to eat and the cake I didn't really like I was thinking to myself how much I was going to regret this, it's not that good, I don't need to be eating this but I kept on chewing.

Saturday I was motivated to get back on track, it was a new day. Then I went to my parent's house. As I walk in my mom says, "let's go to Chewy's!" Um, free lunch?? OK!! Luckily I only got fajitas, it could have been a lot worse and I only ate 2 which is pretty good for me but still, I should have been stronger. Then that night we headed over to my cousin's house and when we go there good food is always in abundance. This time it was an amazing pizza, not just the crappy dominos or something but real italian like pizza, my favorite!! So I couldn't just stop at 1 slice, not 2, not even 3! 4, yes 4 slices of pizza and they weren't small slices either. Well, I've ruined it already might as well eat the brownies covered in fudge and caramel too. UGH!!!

And don't even get me started on Sunday, it was not a good day and of course I take my aggressions out on the Jello no bake chocolate mousse pie!!!!!! It didn't even see it coming, after the 3rd slice my mom just laughed at me, thanks for the support mom. So yeah, BAD weekend and shame on me. Monday will be better....

WRONG!!!! We went to the Fort Worth Stock Show which is basically a mini carnival so of course I eat sugar coated nuts, funnel cake (luckily only 1 bite), couple bites of a pretzel, french fries, hamburger, then a nice light Pei Wei for dinner. No wonder if feel AWFUL today.

I'm writing all this not so you can be totally disgusted with me, though I'm sure that is a result, but for myself because I really do feel incredibly awful today, my stomach isn't right, I'm tired, and feel blah with all that nasty food and fat lingering. So I'm writing this as a reminder to myself to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!! It's not worth it, the food's delicious flavor is fleeting and will only make me miserable the next day. Working out today was hard, I had no energy and I felt heavy. I can do better than that, I'm better than that, food is fuel not to be over indulged but to fuel my body to do happy and productive things like play with my kids, exercise, clean and have a good night's sleep. So yeah, hopefully I wont be doing that again.

Las Week

Last week was a beating. I did horribly New Years weekend and the Monday after (Robert had the day off so I counted it as a holiday too). I ate 2 hamburgers that day, 2!!!! Sick I know. I figured last week would be rough, but it was worse than I thought. Tuesday - Sunday I did really well eating though. I decided I needed to lower my points to non nursing points if I wanted to lose anything and that seemed to work. I am not exclusively nursing so I think it was giving me way too many points than I needed. I'm also having to redo all my favorite WW recipes to be the new points and I'm finding most are more points now so I can't eat as much. And can you believe juice has 4 points now????? I love juice so no more juice for me now. Lots of changes but for the better. I am already feeling better after I work out and I'm not having to stop as often during it. I did my first 45 minute work out today. It was hard and I had to stop a couple times to change diapers, break up fights, etc but I finished and I feel much better!! I really would like to do some work out every day, It helps me eat better the rest of the day. I hope to lose more this week, hopefully get to 150!!!

Working It Out

Well I finally did it, after a whole year I finally worked out. It wasn't much and it wasn't easy but that's not the important part - I actually got off my lazy butt and kicked it in gear. I've been downing a bunch of vitamins too, drinking more water, and obviously eating better. I hope I can keep it up, it isn't easy, but what in life really is??